Regrettably…

...I do not believe in the CHILDREN OF GOD.

From: Mrs. Monica William

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USED IT FOR THE CHILDREN
OF GOD.

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am
married to Dr.Harry William who worked with
Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years
before he died in the year 2004.We were married
for eleven years without a child. He died after
a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
Before his death we were both born again
Christians. Since his death I decided not to
re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial
home which the Bible is against. When my late
husband was alive he deposited the sum of Ten
Million Dollars (Ten Million United State Dollars)
with one finance/security company in Amsterderm-
Netherlands.

Presently, This money is still with the Security
Company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would
not last for the next three months due to cancer
problem. Though what disturbs me most is my
stroke sickness. Having known my condition I
decided to donate this Fund to church or better
still a christian individual that will utilize
this money the way I am going to instruct here in.
I want a church that will use this funds to fund
churches,orphanages and widows propagating the
word of God and to ensure that the house of God
is maintained. The Bible made us to understand
that Blessed is the hand that giveth.

I took this decision because I don't have any child
that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard
earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't
want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner.

Hence the reason for taking this bold decision.
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am
going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom
of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord
will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I
don't need any telephone communication in this
regard because of my health and because of the
presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I
receive your reply I shall give you the contact
of the Finance/Security Company in Amsterderm-
Netherlands. I will also issue you a letter of
authority that will prove you as the original
beneficiary of this Funds. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard.
My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy
Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be
prayerful all through your life.
Any delay in your reply will give me room in
sourcing for a church or christian individual for
this same purpose. Please assure me that you will
act accordingly as I stated herein.
Hoping to hearing from you.

N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN
CHARGE A CALL IN NETHERLANDS IMMEDIATELY, HE DOES
EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING
AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN
JESUS NAME AMEN.

Name: MR.EDWARD SMITH

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Monica William

I am a Druid, consequently I can aid only in maintenance of the Great
Oak prior to Midnight Veneration. Join us, Mrs. William, and find true
solace in the Bosom of His Arboreal Majesty instead!

We all understand the heartbreak of A.D.D...

...but be careful with that coffee!

Alas no, you may not.

Today my ever impetuous inbox greeted me with this missive, its most important aspect emboldened below:

Dear Friend,
I hope my email meets you well. I am in need of your assistance. My
name is SGT. GERALDINE MARCUS, I am in the Engineering military unit here in Ba'qubah in Iraq, we have about $65 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country. My partners and I need a good partner someone we can trust. It is oil money and legal.

But we are moving it through diplomatic means, to send it to your house directly or a bank of your choice using diplomatic courier service.The most important thing is that CAN WE TRUST YOU? Once the funds get to you, you will take your 35% out and keep our own 65%. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to and kept.
Our own part is sending it to your doorstep where the consignment will be delivered to you. If you are interested you will need to give me your full names, an identity, address, telephone and fax number where the diplomat will reacch you as soon as he arrives your country and i will furnish you with more details that will facilitate your immediate access to the fund. But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times.

Thanking you and waiting for your urgent and favourable response.

Regards,

SGT GERALDINE MARCUS.

Clearly, SGT MARCUS cannot "trust me". See how I mock this brave servant of our country's freedom, defending us from our president's alcohol induced fantasies, see how I discard with irresponsible contempt her attempt to not only safeguard funds vital to national security, but enrich yours truly in the process, see how I display her faith, her certitude in my trustworthiness on this world wide forum for any malcontent and ne'er-do-well to view and treat with puerile derision!
I hang my wretched head in shame! Damn me. Damn me to hell!